


Book of Mormon Groupchat

by HannahBsting



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: ArNaba, Crack Fic of sorts, Dank Memes™, F/M, Gay, M/M, Musical theatre references, Referenced McPriceley, The Connor (and Kevin) Project, churchtarts, galore, groupchat fic, mcpriceley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-10 15:18:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11694399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannahBsting/pseuds/HannahBsting
Summary: ThePrice.IsRight: ARNIE.ThePrice.IsRight: I DO NOT.ThePrice.IsRight: HAVE A.ThePrice.IsRight: C R U S HThePrice.IsRight: ON CONNOR ELIAS MCKINLEYJediMaster: Okay Kev————*———-‘Good Mormon Groupchat,’ 5:46 pmJediMaster: He TOTALLY has a crush on Connor Elias McKinley!!!!McKindly: ??JediMaster: SHIT





	1. Chapter 1

_ThePrice.IsRight has added McKindly, Nutella, JediMaster, Sprinkles, and Pure to "Elders of District 9"_

Nutella: Excuse me Elder Price, but not everyone is Elder

ThePrice.IsRight: Oh crap sorry Naba

ThePrice.IsRight has changed the group name to "Elders and Sister of District 9"

Nutella: Thank you

McKindly: What is this?

Sprinkles: Your face

ThePrice.IsRight: ITS A GROUP CHAT AND EVERYONE HERE WILL BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER ESPECIALLY YOU POPTARTS

JediMaster: You okay best friend?

ThePrice.IsRight: Poptarts broke the coffee maker. Again. I'm dying

Sprinkles: You'll live

Sprinkles: Why'd you make this chat anyway?

ThePrice.IsRight: Because I wanted to interact with you guys!

McKindly: Kevin we're literally sitting five feet away from you

Pure: Mood

ThePrice.IsRight: That's five more feet I have to walk though

McKindly: Oml

ThePrice.IsRight: im borrrrrrreeeeddddd

Sprinkles: Are you now

ThePrice.IsRight: y e s

ThePrice.IsRight: Do you guys wanna play truth or dare?

Nutella: What's that?

JediMaster: Oooh Nutella its SUPES FUN! I agree with best friend we should totes play

Sprinkles: Arnold what in the name of Heavenly Father

JediMaster: What? Isn't that how the cool people talk nowadays?

Sprinkles: Well none of us here are cool,

ThePrice.IsRight: HEY

Sprinkles: Especially not Kevin

ThePrice.IsRight: hEY!

Sprinkles: but no one in their right mind would talk like that Arnold lol

JediMaster: Oh.

Pure: Rip

JediMaster: aLSO DONT TALK ABOUT BF THAT WAY!!!

McKindly: arnold.

Sprinkles: Oh no

McKindly: What do you think BF stands for?

Nutella: Elder McKinley why are you breathing so hard? You look like you are to burst a vein in your head or something

JediMaster: It stands for Best friend, DUH

McKindly: Okay good

ThePrice.IsRight: Girls, Girls, you're both pretty. Can we play truth or dare now?

Nutella: Kevin there is only one girl here

Pure: It's an expression Naba. Price is calling them girls bc they sound like immature little girls fighting over who's prettier

Sprinkles: E X P O S E D

McKindly: LETS JUST PLAY

JediMaster: Wait no ones explained the rules to Nutella yet

ThePrice.IsRight: Okay Naba, so it's simple. You get to pick whether you want a Truth or a Dare. A truth is when you're asked a question and you have to answer it truthfully. A dare is when you are dared to do something and you absolutely have to do it.

Nutella: Ooh we used to play this game all the time in the village when I was a little girl!!!

Pure: Why'd you stop?

Nutella: Little Abayomi was dared to poke sleeping lioness with big stick. Little Abayomi is no longer here, he now rests on big puffy cloud in sky. 

Pure: ...

McKindly: ...

Sprinkles: ...

JediMaster: ...

ThePrice.IsRight: ...

Nutella! Let's play!!

Nutella: Elder Price, truth or dare?

ThePrice.IsRight: You know whatt??? Uhhh I forgot I have to go and..and um organize my hair gel! Poptarts you wanna take my turn?

_ThePrice.IsRight has left the chat_

Sprinkles: ASSHOLE!

_ThePrice.IsRight has joined the chat_

ThePrice.IsRight: ;p

_ThePrice.IsRight has left the chat_

McKindly: Welp

Nutella: Does no one want to play with me anymore? :(

JediMaster: NO NO NO NO NO OF COURSE NOT NUTELLA ILL PLAY!!!

Nutella: : )

JediMaster: Truth

Nutella: Favorite Star Wars movie?

JediMaster: NUTELLA NO THATS LIKE MAKING ME CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHILD

Nutella: But Elder Cunningham, that rules state that you must answer the question

JediMaster: FEHWNWJWONW

_ThePrice.IsRight has joined the chat_

ThePrice.IsRight: *Oprah voice* iM BAAAAACCCKK

ThePrice.IsRight: HOLY CRAP ARNOLD ARE YOU OKAY?!

JediMaster: N O

Sprinkles: Someone pass the popcorn

Pure: Tag yourself I'm *Oprah Voice*

McKindly: I'm Someone pass the popcorn

Sprinkles: I'm Kevin Price realizing he's an asshole

ThePrice.Right: ENOUGH WITH THE MEMES

Pure: GASP

Sprinkles: IS IT POSSIBLE TO USE THOSE WORDS TOGETHER LIKE THAT IN A SENTENCE

ThePrice.IsRight: Oh grow up.

McKindly: BOYS!!!

Sprinkles: oh shit now mom's pissed

McKindly: ELDER THOMAS DONT TALK LIKE THAT

Pure: Mom I'm sorry and I beg your forgiveness

McKindly: That's better, Elder Church

McKindly: carry on

Sprinkles: Wait you didn't make Kevin apologize!

JediMaster: My favorite movie is Return of the Jedi okay next question before everyone starts screaming again

Pure: Tag yourself I'm Everyone Starts Screaming Again

ThePrice.IsRight: ARNOLD YOUR TURN

JediMaster: Oof

JediMaster: Um

JediMaster: Nutella, truth or dare

ThePrice.IsRight: IT WAS LITERALLY HER TURN FIVE SECONDS AGO

JediMaster: I DONT MAKE THE RULES HERE; THE GOD OF TRUTH OR DARE DOES

_ThePrice.IsRight has left the chat_

Nutella: Why is Elder Price Leaving?

Sprinkles: Cause he's Kevin. That's what he does

Pure: EXPOSED

Nutella: Okay then. I will take dare

JediMaster: I dare you to go outside and tackle Kevin

McKindly: ARNOLD NO HE'S GONNA GET HURT

_Sprinkles has kicked McKindly from the chat_

Sprinkles: You were saying, Naba?

Nutella: Okay. Let's do it!

Nutella: Where is he?

Pure: Outside. Can't you hear him belting Hakuna Matata?

Nutella: What's that?

JediMaster: Hakuna Matata, WHAT A  
W O N D E R F U L PHRASE

Sprinkles: IT MEANS NO WORRRIIIEESSS  
FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAAYYYYSSSS

Pure: Just never mind Naba

JediMaster: IM COMING WITH YOU I GOTTA FILM THIS

Sprinkles: Church!!! Help me restrain McKinley

Pure: Jfc

Pure: HOLY SHIT HE'S POSSESSED

_JediMaster has sent a video to the chat_

_JediMaster has added McKindly and ThePrice.IsRight to the chat_

ThePrice.IsRight: ARNOLD WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

McKindly: ARE YOU OKAY?? IM GONNA GO FIND BANDAIDS

Nutella: I CANT BREATHEE

ThePrice.IsRight: MY HAIR

ThePrice.IsRight: ARNOLD YOU CRUSTY COMMUNIST CANOE

JediMaster: Yes,,,,best friend???

ThePrice.IsRight: YOU MESSED UP. MY. HAIR.

JediMaster: GOTTA GO FAST

JediMaster has left the chat

ThePrice.IsRight: ARnOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is a whiny bitch. Connor loves him tho. References to Churchtarts

McKindly: KEVIN PLEASE STOP CHASING ARNOLD

Sprinkles: PLEASE DON'T THIS IS COMEDY GOLD

Sprinkles: LOOK AT ARNOLD FLAILING AROUND LIKE A CHICKEN I CAN'T SHEKENKSKNAN

_McKindly has kicked Sprinkles from the chat_

Pure: Connor! Put Chris back innn!!

Pure: oops autocorrect I meant  
E X P O S E D

JediMaster: GUYS GUYS GUYS PLEASE HELP ME IS HE STILL BEHIND ME?!

Pure: yes

JediMaster: HOLY POOP

McKindly: Arnold,,,using the force will not work on Kevin

JediMaster: it will if I BELIEVE

McKindly: Heavenly Father help us all

McKindly: I'm gonna go grab some bandaids and prepare for the inevitable

_McKindly has left the chat_

_Pure has added Sprinkles to the chat_

Sprinkles: WHAT'D I MISS

Pure: Not much

Sprinkles: Aww

Sprinkles: *waves to reporters* "Welp that's it guys! No story today!!"

Pure: You're such a dork

Sprinkles: But I'm your dork!

Pure: Nope. You've been disowned.

Sprinkles: YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

Pure: Just did

_ThePrice.IsRight has joined the chat_

JediMaster has joined the chat

ThePrice.IsRight: My hairrr hurttsssssss

Sprinkles: No one cares

Pure: McKinley probably does

_McKindly has joined the chat_

McKindly: I would care if anyone in the district got hurt. I'm the district leader, it's my responsibility

Sprinkles: Uhuh, yeah, SURE. 

NutSack: Your face is pink Elder McKinley. Should we ring the doctor???

McKindly: No, I'm fine Naba. Really

ThePrice.IsRight: YES NABA GET THE DOCTOR MY EVERYTHING HURTS. EVEN MY HAIR

Pure: How is that physically possible?

ThePrice.IsRight: Don't ask me questions, I'm frightened of questions.

ThePrice.IsRight: Connnoorrrrrrrr please hurry up with the ice pack!!!

Sprinkles: Kevin I'm sure you don't need an ice pack

ThePrice.IsRight: MY HAIR HURTS

Pure: Again, NOT. POSSIBLE.

Sprinkles: Naba DIDNT EVEN TACKLE YOU!  
All she did was shout "BOO!" And you landed smack  on your ass

NutSack: Elder Price, I am sorry.

ThePrice.IsRight: THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL LAUGHING

NutSack: Because, Elder Price, it is funny!

Pure: Mood

McKindly: Do you want me to get more ice??? What else hurts???

ThePrice.IsRight: My pride.

McKindly: Kevin.

ThePrice.IsRight: Sorry. My back hurts too.

McKindly: Okay then. I'll get you an ice pack and a pillow.

Pure: What just happened?

Sprinkles: Kevin stopped being a complete dick. IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

McKindly: Hush

NutSack: Am I still getting the doctor?


	3. I'm here and I'm queer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Falsettos reference. (Credit to Brandon Uranowitz) Connor shares something with his friends and Kevin joins in

McKindly: Are we ever going to finish this game?

Sprinkles: Reply hazy. Ask again later

McKindly: *one second later* Are we ever going to finish this game?

Pure: Signs point to yes

McKindly: Okay so who's turn?

Sprinkles: Mine

Sprinkles: Truth or Dare?

McKindly: Truth

Sprinkles: Dammit I was gonna make you kiss Kevin

ThePrice.IsRight: Wot

McKindly: POPTARTS NO

Sprinkles: Relax

Sprinkles: Only if you're comfortable, can you tell us how you came out to your parents?

Sprinkles: But only if you're cool with it! If not I understand, I can just ask something else

McKindly: No no no, it's okay.  
I have to get comfortable sooner or later, ya know?

McKindly: I came out to my parents when they discovered gay porn on my computer..

JediMaster: Welp

Nasal Spray: Well then

McKindly: ..While I was at my best friend Nicole's house choreographing a hip-hop dance

ThePrice.IsRight: Seems like a hat on a hat 

Pure: LMAO WHAT

McKindly: Well, right, which was why I was surprised because I thought they already figured it out

Sprinkles: Was this before or after the Steve thing?

McKindly: After

ThePrice.IsRight: How would they already have known?

McKindly: It's pretty obvious. I was praying that they just weren't going to say anything to me

McKindly: But I got a call from when I was like, Mid-shoulder brush

JediMaster: LOL

ThePrice.IsRight: Wot

McKindly: from my mother being like, "Where. Are. You."

Pure: Oh snap

McKindly: And I was like, "Mm I'm at NIcoLE'S housee"

McKindly: And she was like, "You need to come home. Now."

ThePrice.IsRight: They confronted you about this?!

McKindly: About their little perfect MORMON son watching GAY porn on the FAMILY computer?! Yes they confronted me!

Pure: ROASTED

Nasal Spray: How old were you?

McKindly: Like 15 or so?

McKindly: (I can't believe you're making me tell this story)

ThePrice.IsRight: You can stop if you need to Con

McKindly: Nah I'm good

McKindly: Okay, so we finished the dance, I went home

JediMaster: LMAO

Pure: Of course

McKindly: We finished the dance, and she drove me home in her Infinity SUV.

ThePrice.IsRight: Boujee

McKindly: So I walk into the house, and it's PITCH BLACK. All I see is the back lit shadow of my mother in the kitchen with her arms crossed like, "You are in so much poop"

Sprinkles: Lol

McKindly: She brings me down, and rather than just having like a nice like, "Hey. Let's talk about this," she starts opening up ALL the websites.

McKindly: And I don't know WHAT to do, so I'm just sitting there going, "EWW wHAt is tHAt?! That's DIsgUStiNG!!!"

McKindly: Internally I'm going, "Yup, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday I didn't do anything, but Friday"

ThePrice.IsRight: Wowwwww

JediMaster: So dramatic

McKindly: and then my dad comes down in like his tighty whities, and he's like, "Con. If it's yours, just tell us" But you could tell that he was threatening me when he said it, so I started panicking really bad

ThePrice.IsRight: That sucks

Nasal Spray: If it's YOURS?!

McKindly: No but hold on. HOLD ON.

Sprinkles: What am I holding onto?

McKindly: Joseph Smith's fucked frog, I DON'T CARE

Sprinkles: But what if I wanted to hold onto a poptart

McKindly: Let me finish my story and I'll get you a stinking poptart

Sprinkles: Okey Dokey

McKindly: GREAT NOW YOU MADE ME LOSE MY PLACE

McKindly: okay so my dad came downstairs and he asks me if it's mine. But it turns out that there was this other random document on the computer that NO ONE recognized.

McKindly: So I said, "Well, OBVIOUSLY someone hacked into our computer!"

Nasal Spray: Oh wow

McKindly: AND THEY BELIEVED ME

Sprinkles: *starts slow clapping*

ThePrice.IsRight: Con, I mean this in the sincerest way possible: What the actual fuck

Pure: IM DYING THIS IS PERFECT

Pure: WHY HAVE YOU NEVER TOLD US THIS STORY

McKindly: Reasons?

McKindly: Idk, it just never came up

 

McKindly: Hey guys, I wanna try something.

_McKindly has changed his username to  
"ImHereAndImQueer"_

ImHereAndImQueer: I want to start becoming more comfortable and confident with who I am now. What do you guys think?

JediMaster: I think this is great Elder McKinley! Totally fits in with the Book of Arnold :)

Nasal Spray: I'm proud of you, Elder McKinley

Sprinkles: Good on you, buddy

Pure: Yayyyyy! I'm so happy!

ImHereAndImQueer: thanks guys :)))

_ThePrice.IsRight has changed his username to "I'm Gay"_

ImHereAndImQueer: Wait what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys still want to to continue this?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyooo I'm back
> 
> * please enjoy :) *

Sprinkles: Sup heteros

ImHereAndImQueer: the fUdGE did you just call me?!?!?!!

Pure: LMAO

I'm Gay: SAME

I'm Gay: Hey guys so funny story:

JediMaster: Oh my god what did you do

I'm Gay: NOTHING! Jeez cut me some slack

Nickelback Snake: Elder Price, it is you who should be cutting US some slacks! Remember that time you got into a fistfight bc you thought that Disney World was better than Disneyland?

I'm Gay: IT IS THOUGH!

Sprinkles: tHAT DOseNT MEan yOu gIVe mE A BLaCK EYe!!!!!!!

Nickelback Snake: Or, that time you nearly got kicked out of Starbucks bc of that fight with the barista

I'm Gay: SHE HAD IT COMING SHE GAVE ME A CARAMEL LATTE INSTEAD OF A PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED MY DAILY FIX OF C A F F E I N E

Pure: SHE HAD IT COMING

Sprinkles: SHE HAD IT COMING

ImHereAndImQueer: SHE HAD IT COMING ALLLLL ALONGGGGGGGGGGGG

I'm Gay: CAUSE IF SHE USED ME, AND SHE ABUSED ME, HOW COULD YOU TELL ME THAT I WAS WRONGGGGGGGGGGGG

Sprinkles: *Not necessarily abuse*

Pure: CHRIS IT'S STARBUCKS! ITS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH

I'm Gay: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Pure: I was being sarcastic

I'm Gay: ...

I'm Gay: I knew that

Nickelback Snake: There was also the time when you got kicked out of Target because you

I'm Gay: OKAY WE GET IT I GET KICKED OUT OF PLACES A LOT

I'm Gay: But this time's different!

I'm Gay: This time I got kicked out of Barnes and Noble

_Nickelback Snake has left the chat_

JediMaster: NICKELBACK SNAKE NOOOOO

Sprinkles: Do you want me to put the AC on, Kev? Cause you look a little ROASTED

Pure: CHRIS IM GONNA 

Sprinkles: Thats what you said last night

_Pure has left the chat_

I'm Gay: GREAT SCOTT

ImHereAndImQueer:  
WHOOOeeeeee gay stUFF gⓐy sTuff thats some gaySTuFF right there right THerE if i do ƽaү so my selｆ i say so thats what im talking about right there right there  
(chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ

I'm Gay: BACK UP FOR A SECOND

_Pure has returned to the chat_

Pure: No

_Pure has left the chat once again due to pure Gay shame_

JediMaster: Welp

Nickelback Snake: "Lets make a Groupchat" they said. "It'll be fun!" they said.

ImHereAndImQueer: Okay but srsly guys: let's chill for a second.

ImHereAndImQueer: If they don't wanna talk yet, they don't have to.

I'm Gay: You're right

I'm Gay: Sorry guys

ImHereAndImQueer: Do you wanna finish your story?

I'm Gay: YES!

I'm Gay: So, I got kicked out of Barnes and Nobles bc I placed all the Book of Mormons in the fiction section

JediMaster: *highfive*

ImHereAndImQueer: KEVIN NO

I'm Gay: IM SORRY IT HAD TO BE DONE

JediMaster: #DoingTheLordsWork

I'm Gay: YAAASSS

ImHereAndImQueer: *major facepalm*

ImHereAndImQueer: Must I always be there to look after you?

I'm Gay: In a perfect world, yes

JediMaster: in a peRFECT WORLDDDDD a MIraCLE WOulD HAppEn

I'm Gay: YASS

ImHereAndImQueer: SINCE WHEN DO YOU KNOW SHOWTUNES??????

JediMaster: I hang around you too much. It was bound to happen at some point, right?

ImHereAndImQueer: ..true

Sprinkles: You guys James isn't answering me What do I do??!!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What would Kevin have gotten kicked out of Target for?


	5. The Fall of the Empire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @ Lafgayette, I accidentally added you as co-creator. Can you please remove yourself? I tried to do it multiple times but I think only you can do it. Please, Obi-Wan, you're my only hope. Also, credits to your Hamilton GC fic for the Gay Swan joke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey could you guys please comment what you want to see more of, plot-wise? I'm slowly running out of ideas

Sprinkles: You guys James isn't answering me What do I do??!!?!

ImHereAndImQueer: Why isn't he answering you??

Sprinkles: IF I KNEW THAT I WOULD NOT BE TALKING TO YOU ID BE TALKING TO MY BOYFRIEND

Sprinkles: awwww now he isn't here now to say "ROASTED!" I miss him :,(

ImHereAndImQueer: Okay so I'm gonna ignore your blatant disrespect bc you're my friend and you're having a major crisis

Sprinkles: I appreciate that.

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: Get yourself a man like Connor McKinley

I'm Gay: I'm working on it

Sprinkles: I CALLED HIM 6, S I X TIMES AND HE HASNT ANSWERED ME. IT JUST GOES STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL!

I'm Gay: That's the only straight thing he's capable of 

JediMaster: He's definitely mad at you

Sprinkles: I CAN SEE THAT

Sprinkles: Pls help me :(

I'm Gay: tomorrrrrrooowwww, therrrree wil beeeeee suuuunnnn! But if not tomorrrowwwww, perhapssss thee day afffteer

I'm Gay: I can only provide comfort through uplifting musical lyrics.

ImHereAndImQueer: Ohhh if I could I'd will these clouds awaaaaaayyyyy by loooovveeeee :)

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: I'd wave my hand, reveal the staarrrsssss

JediMaster: wHO IS tHAt?! WHo iS THaT EMerGInG fROM hIS BUrRow!!! WHO CAn sEE TOdaY WHat wE CAnt sEE uNTil toMOrrOW

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: Hon,,, that's not the next lyric,,,

JediMaster: But that's the only part I know Nat- WHY IS YOUR NAME SO HECKING LONG

Natasha, Pierre, &a the Great Comet of 1812: ITS FROM A MUSICAL!!! I HOPE THAT ROCK THAT YOURE LIVING UNDER IS COMFORTABLE

JediMaster: No,,, that but it does have all the Star Wars films on Bluray and a deranged weasel named Baxter. He has a mustache.

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: ...you should get that checked out

I'm Gay: BUT FOR REAL WHY IS GREAT COMET AANNNNNDDDD GROUNGDHOG DAY CLOSING THEYRE WORKS OF ART!!

ImHereAndImQueer: HONESTLY!!!!

ImHereAndImQueer: When I die I want the American Theatre Wing to lower me into my grave so that they can let me down one last time.

I'm Gay: HECKING SAME!!! FALSETTOS WAS HECKING ROOBED!!! TO HECK WITH HELLO DOLLY

ImHereAndImQueer: ROOBED

I'm Gay: rOObed

ImHereAndImQueer: roOBed

ImHereAndImQueer: But if I'm being completely honest, BETTE MIDLER IS A QUEEENNN!! YASS GIRL SLAAAYYY

JediMaster: What even is this chat anymore

ImHereAndImQueer: dID YOU HEAR THAT BERNADETTE FREAKIMG PETERS IS GONNA BE THE NEXT DOLLY?!!!

I'm Gay: I JUST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS 

I'm Gay: HOLY SHIT THATS FUCKING INCREDIBLE 

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: This is not the quality content I signed up for.

JediMaster: This chat is just gonna get increasingly gayer until it's just two and a half hours of Kevin and Connor ferociously making out

ImHereAndImQueer: ,,,BUT I DIDNT,,, WE DIDNt,,, WHTA HAHAHAH SKWKOO

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: HE SH OOK

Sprinkles: Nooooo that's James' thing don't steal it :((

ImHereAndImQueer: Poptarts, I kindly suggest that you shut the fuck up

I'm Gay: RT

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: RT

JediMaster: RT

Sprinkles: What the fuck guys

I'm Gay: At least he said it kindly

Sprinkles: Oh my god

JediMaster: Smh

Sprinkles: Can one of you idiots please just text him for me and ask him what I did???

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: What's the magic word?

Sprinkles: I FUCKING SAID PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY!

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: Elder Cunningham, did you hear something?

JediMaster: No, I didn't hear anything but I did just see Poptarts' text just now

JediMaster: Ohhhhhhhhhhh wait 

I'm Gay: *FACEPALM*

JediMaster: No, Great flying space rock of 1812, I did not hear anything

Sprinkles: ARE WE SERIOUSLY PLAYING THIS GAME RIGHT NOW

I'm Gay: Hey Naba, have you seen Elder Thomas?

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: Who?

Sprinkles: OH FOR THE EVER-LOVING LOVE OF FUCK

I'm Gay: You know, that one weird guy who annoyed the shit out of his friends worrying about his boyfriend when he really had nothing to worry about

I'm Gay: And he likes Poptarts

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: He sounds familiar

I'm Gay: You know, the guy who broke the coffee machine and still sleeps with a stupid stuffed swan

Sprinkles: DONT RALK ABOIT FIFI THAT WAY!!!!!!

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: Ohhhhh that guyyyy. Nope!

Sprinkles: Okay guys this isn't funny

I'm Gay: Then why am I laughing

Sprinkles: BECAUSE YOURE A DICK!!!!

I'm Gay: SO IS YOUR FACE

ImHereAndImQueer: Just texted Elder Church. He's fine, he's at rehearsal.

Sprinkles: Oh thank god.

ImHereAndImQueer: But he's ignoring you

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: Welp

Sprinkles: That's great.

_Sprinkles has left the chat_

ImHereAndImQueer _:_ Y'allknow darn good and well that Church was having a fucking meltdown over the THOUGHT that MIGHT have been ignoring Poptarts right? 

I'm Gay: They're so gay im gonna cry

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812: The Gay is reaaaaaaaaalllll

JediMaster: They're the gayest gays that ever did Gay

I'm Gay: Mood

I'm Gay: Hey did you guys know that Alexander Hamilton cries at Gay swans? 

Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812:  
Is that some weird American joke?

I'm Gay: ITS TRUE

JediMaster: That's just Kevin being Kevin.

I'm Gay: :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey could you guys please comment what you want to see more of, plot-wise? I'm slowly running out of ideas


	6. Sincerely, Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TEAM CONNOR (and Kevin smh) PROJECT IS A GO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Comment. You guys give me motivation to keep writing this trash lmao

Sprinkles: Connor almost burned the freaking house down!!!!

I'm Gay: IS HE OKAY

ImHereAndImQueer: I'm fine, Elder Price. Thank you :)

NagaSaki: What was he doing?

Sprinkles: MAKING. CEREAL.

Pure: WTF

NagaSaki: Elder McKinley, how you say, What the fucking fuck

ImHereAndImQueer: Don't. Ask.

I'm Gay: Con, all due respect, but it's cereal.

JediMaster: THats Kevin's way of saying: IT DOESNT REQUIRE HEAT WHATCHA DOIN OVER THAR U LIL SMOL BEAN HAHA

Pure: What have I told you about going on Tumblr

JediMaster: IT GIVES ME ENERGY!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Gay: ...k then

Sprinkles: Connor, no offense but Naba cooks better than you

NagaSaki: Are you saying that Women are incapable of cooking?

NagaSaki: That men are superior to Women?

Sprinkles: Naba

NagaSaki: That Women did not spend 100 years advocating for their rights as human beings?

Sprinkles: NABA

NagaSaki: That women are not just as intelligent and important as men?

Sprinkles: NABA PLEASE CAN I TALK FOR A SECOND

Pure: Tag yourself I'm outspoken feminism

JediMaster: I'm my girlfriend being a savage

I'm Gay: I'm Poptarts getting, ahem,  
R O A S T E D

Sprinkles: Naba, that's not what I was trying to say. I value women. Please stop trying to drag me

NagaSaki: I accept your apology :)

Sprinkles: Okay great now I lost my train of thought

Pure: Remember the day that the eclipse happened, and we were all in Central Park, calmly watching it happen, and Kevin just started shouting "DRAGG HEERRRRRRRR" at the sky

NagaSaki: OMFG YESS

JediMaster: What was the thought process behind that?

I'm Gay: That the sun's wig was getting dragged across the sky by the moon, duh

I'm Gay: HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT BACK IN EARLY EGYPT, EGYPTIANS THOUGHT THAT THE SKY WAS A GIANT OCEAN IN THE SKY. AND THAT THE SUN WOULD RISE BY FLOATING ACROSS THE SKY IN A BOAT

Sprinkles: Great. Thanks. I'm so glad I know that

ImHereAndImQueer: Oh cool!

ImHereAndImQueer: History was actually my favorite subject in Highschool. I was totally not influenced by Hamilton or anything..

I'm Gay: Ha, same. But still, for some reason or another History was my favorite too. It was the only class I actively looked forward too

JediMaster: JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY YOU BESLUBBERING CLAY-BRAINED CANKER BLOSSOMS!!!!!

I'm Gay: ..........

ImHereAndImQueer: .................

Sprinkles: ^What he said.

Pure: ^^^^^

NagaSaki: That's it I'm deleting your tumblr

JediMaster: NOOOOO NAGASAKI LET ME LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEEEE

Pure: MOOD

I'm Gay: Hey guys guess what!

Sprinkles: Kevin the adults are talking

I'm Gay: What?

_Sprinkles has kicked "I'm Gay" from the chat_

ImHereAndImQueer: Hey you can't do that!

_Sprinkles has also kicked "ImHereAndImQueer" from the chat_

Pure: ?

NagaSaki: Elder Poptarts did you wake up on the side of the bed again? You are being more of an apple-cheeked squid face than normal

Sprinkles: Relax I just wanted to get rid of Kevin and Connor.

Pure: That doesn't make it??? Better?? 

Sprinkles: I wanted to talk without them being near me- I have a plan ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

NagaSaki: Not another one of your "Insanely Cool" plans >:(

Pure: I have 911 on speed dial now because of your last "plan"

Sprinkles: WHY AM I BEING ATTACKED

Sprinkles: JAMES I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

Pure: Who said what now?

_Sprinkles has left the chat_

JediMaster: RAGEQUIT

Pure: IM THE MEME KING OF THIS FAMILY EXCUSE YOU

_Sprinkles has rejoined the chat_

Sprinkles: IM TRYING TO ACTUALLY BE A GOOD PERSON FOR ONCE LET ME TALK SHUSSIOS

JediMaster: GOOD FOR YOU

NagaSaki: GOOD FOR YOU YOU YOU. GOT A TASTE OF A LIFE, SO PERFECT-

Pure: Go ahead Chris

Sprinkles: Okay. So we have to get Kevin and Connor together. They're pathetic.

NagaSaki: You just said you were a good person????

Sprinkles: *trying. But there's only so much you can do to sugarcoat that statement

Sprinkles: They follow each other around like lost puppies and whenever they're apart they always whine about how the other isn't there, and when the other person shows up, they light up like Christmas trees and then they hug, but they always hug 5 seconds longer than 'friends do'

Pure: It's pathetic.  
  
JediMaster: OKAY so what's the plan

Sprinkles: It's called the Connor Project.

JediMaster: The Connor Project?

Pure: Imagine a major online service..

Sprinkles: WITH A MASSIVE FUNDRAISING DRIVE

Pure: And for the kick-off event, an all-school memorial assembly!

JediMaster: That sounds like a lot

NagaSaki: Connor doesn't mean that much to people

Sprinkles: DAMN NABA

Pure: TELL IT LIKE IT IS

NagaSaki: No no no that was terribly rude, I am sorry. It's just that no one will want to donate money to Connor because nobody knows him.

Sprinkles: Darn

Sprinkles: Fine we'll just hold meetings in a different gc to get those pathetic love puppies together

NagaSaki: Sounds like a plan

Sprinkles: yayayayayayay

JediMaster: But why is it called The Connor Project if Kevin's also prominently featured?

Pure: He's prominently featured in Connor's near future

Sprinkles: MORE LIKE HIS REAR FUTURE

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pure: YASS ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JediMaster: OH MY GOD

NagaSaki: NOT IN MY GOOD MORMON GROUPCHAT

_NagaSaki has kicked Pure and Sprinkles from the chat_

_JediMaster has added Pure and Sprinkles to "Good Mormon Groupchat"_

JediMaster: Will you too please behave before NagaSaki goes all Kylo Ren on you again?

Sprinkles: Fiiiiiinnneeeeee

Sprinkles: All in favor of the Connor (and Kevin) project say Aye!

Pure: Aye!

NagaSaki: Aye!

JediMaster: AYYYEEEEE. Best Friend needs a man already. It's depressing

Sprinkles: Yay! Team Connor (and Kevin) Project is a go!

NagaSaki: God Help Us All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy I payed attention in History class today- All the Egyptian facts are 100% true.


	7. MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanNaba

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice big chapter to make up for my absence. MAKE WAY FOR ELDER ZELDER

_Sprinkles has added Pure, JediMaster, and Nikki M James to “The Connor Project”_

Sprinkles: Okey dokey, so let’s use this chat from now on for all the Kevin-Connor stuff

JediMaster: *the Connor AND KEVIN project

Sprinkles: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT YOU HORN-SQUABBLER

Nikki M. James: Um

Pure: Don’t ask

Sprinkles: Okay. So we need a plan of action.  
I recommend consulting the love expert.

Pure: True True.

Nikki M. James: Is it really that serious?

Pure: *GASP*

Sprinkles: HOW DARE

JediMaster: NIKKI M. JAMES THE LOVE EXPERT KNOWS ALL

Pure: ADD HIM IN

_Sprinkles has added “MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU” to the chat_

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: I’ve been summoned

Pure: ELDER ZELDER WE NEED YOUR HELP

Nikki M. James: This is ridiculous

Sprinkles: Okay Zelder, Connor and Kevin are super uber-mega Gay for each other, and Naba’s a non believer in the love expert. Show her

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: Wot do you mean

Sprinkles: YOUR MESSING UP THE TIMING JUST DO SOMETHING

Pure: *You’re. Lordy

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: Ummm Nabulungi here’s some relationship advice!

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: *hmmmmmmmmmmmm

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: My sources tell me.. THAT YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND! KAZAAAM

Pure: ALL HAIL THE GREAT AND POWERFUL ZELDER

JediMaster: HE KNOWS ALL

Sprinkles: WE’RE NOT WORTHY, WE’RE NOT W O R T H Y

Nikki M. James: If I roll my eyes one more time, they are liable to pop out of my head and be used in Gotswana’s spider stew.

Nikki M. James: If we really need a love guru,

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: *EXPERT

Nikki M. James: CAN WE GET ONE THAT’S ACTUALLY USEFUL PLS AND THANKS

Sprinkles: Alright alright fine. I recommend nominating officers for the Connor and Kevin Project club.

Nikki M. James: Thank you

Pure: I NOMINATE MY BOYFRIEND FOR PRESIDENT

JediMaster: Shawn Mendez?

Pure: nah, but I WISH

Sprinkles: I wish too

Pure: wtf babe

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: You guys are weird

Pure: We know :)

JediMaster: I second the nomination.

Sprinkles: Wtf I’m not your boyfriend

JediMaster: Eww no

JediMaster: I just thought that since you created the project, and you seem to have ideas for it, you should be the one to lead it.

Sprinkles: oh. Okay.

Sprinkles: I NOMINATE JAMES AS VICE PRESIDENT

Pure: AW THANK YOU BAE

Pure: Naba should be the Treasurer, since she’s the most rational one out of the 5 of us

Nikki M. James: What does rational mean?

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: You’re the one out of the 5 of us who’s actually mature

Sprinkles: RT

Nikki M. James: Okay then I nominate Arnold for secretary since he wrote the lovely Book of Arnold

JediMaster: <3 <3

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: What’s my job????

Sprinkles: Youre just kinda here. Overseeing stuff.

Pure: We’ll come to u if we have questions, Kay?

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: ..kay

Pure: O m gosh I am freaking out you guys! This is really coming together!

Sprinkles: They’ll be together in no time!

Nikki M. James: !!!!!!!

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: Naba, your username sounds really familiar

Sprinkles: I WAS JUST THINKING THAT

Pure: I think it’s the name of some actress?

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: OMG YES SHE WAS THE ONE FROM THAT MORMON SHOW

Pure: Ugh, that’s right. I hated that show

Sprinkles: Yeah. It’s pretty stupid

JediMaster: Who on earth would go to see a show about Mormons? Everyone knows that Arnoldians are better.

Pure: RT

Nikki M. James: I liked that show! Nikki M. James is my hero

Pure: To each their own, I suppose.

Sprinkles: As President of this fine establishment, I propose coming up with a nickname for Connor and Kevin.

Nikki M. James: You mean like a ship name?

Pure: Yeah!

Sprinkles: I was thinking Konvin!!

JediMaster: Ew.

Sprinkles: You’re right. How about Mice?

Pure: That’s worse.

JediMaster: McKevin?

Pure: That sounds like the latest concoction from McDonald’s. Think people!!!

Pure: How about McKevley?

Sprinkles: Warmer

Nikki M. James: Hey, How about McPriceley?

Sprinkles: COLDER.

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: Men, I’ve got it.

JediMaster: Ooh What is it??????

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: Their ship name should be........

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: McPriceley!

Sprinkles: OMG YES ITS PERFECT

JediMaster: Aww it combines them both perfectly, what do you think Nikki M. James?

Nikki M. James has left the chat

Pure: What’s up with Naba?

JediMaster: She probably just went to the bathroom. Three cheers for McPriceley!!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to comment, like, subscribe, and *roxie voice* ALL THAT JAZZZZZZZ  
> But seriously, I love all of you guys, thank you so much for continuing to read this. (Especially the ones who comment haha.) Pls also comment what you want to see in the upcoming chapters! I’m always looking for new ideas


	8. Do your Worst, McKinley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Connor Project is now being put into effect. The boys prepare for ImPending DoomsDay

JediMaster: Mkay so............

JediMaster: Can I let McPriceley back into the chat now? Caues Kevin’s like, lowkey thraetening to, like asasinaite me, but like nothing major

Sprinkles: Fine. But don’t mention the plan to them, it’s a surprise

JediMaster: STOP LECKTURING ME MOM

JediMaster has added “ThePrice.IsRight” and “McKindly” to  
“Good Mormon Groupchat”

ThePrice.IsRight: WHAT’S UP GAYMERS

McKindly: GOOD MORNING WORLD AND ALL WHO INHABIT IT

Sprinkles: Glad to see nothing’s changed

Take me to Church: Why’d you change your usernames?

ThePrice.IsRight: Why’d you change yours?

Take me to Church: Touché.

Take Me to Church: sooooooooooooooo,

Take Me to Church: Whad y’all do while we were gone?

Sprinkles: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JediMaster: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Netflix and Chill: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

McKindly: ?

ThePrice.IsRight: what are you talking about

Take me to Church: you two.....alone.....together........

ThePrice.IsRight: Doing what, pray tell?

Sprinkles: Being alone,,,,,in the mission,,,,,,,watching the Lady and the Tramp....melting when you watch the Spaghetti scene, even though it’s kinda gross when you think about it in context, and gazing hopelessly into each other’s eyes

Sprinkles: In other words, YOU TWO WERE GOING AT IT

McKindly: Really? Kev you should’ve told me, I would’ve put my book down

ThePrice.IsRight: As much as I love personified, romantically inclined Disney doggos, No: Connor and I were not watching Lady and the Tramp nor were we quote unquote going at it

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: You guys are so lame

ThePrice.IsRight: SINCE WHEN DID HE GET HERE?

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: I’m not really here, in a sense. I’m a being from above, just watching, observing, taking notes and making plans of action to fight against future evils

ThePrice.IsRight: Ooh and he has a God complex too. Oh joy.

Sprinkles: Okay now IM bored. And that’s a feat in itself. Y’all usually have drama going on to keep me entertained

McKindly: :p

Take Me To Church: RT

JediMaster: We could talk about the impending doomsday- I mean, our episode of Idiots Take Manhattan next week

Sprinkles: spEAk for yOURself

McKindly: O M GOSH YES I NEARLY FORGOT

McKindly: Except I COULDN’T forget with all the preparations I’m doing!!!!!!

McKindly: Aaaaaahhhhh you guys are gonna have so much fun here I have the WHOLE trip planned

McKindly: We can go walk see the Statue of Liberty, climb the Empire State, go bike riding in Central Park, take pictures with all the Cartoon characters on the sidewalks, buy questionable but surprisingly tasty food from street vendors, AAAAHHHHH  
  
McKindly: OOH AND A S U R P R I S E

ThePrice.IsRight: Deadass he even has a laminated itinerary

JediMaster: WHAT’S THE S U R P R I S E

McKindly: It wouldn’t be a sURpRiSE IF I TOLD Y O U

JediMaster: YES IT WOULD BE IT WOULD JUST BE A SURPRISE THAT I KNEW ABIUT

Take Me To Church: that’s cool I mean were there for like 2 weeks for spring break so the more stuff to do the better

Sprinkles: DO YOUR WORST, MCKINLEY

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU:  
^^ My two personalities coexisting as one

 

 

 

 


	9. quACk

JediMaster sent an image

 

JediMaster: Look at the size of Kevin’s bAg

 

McKindly: It’s so big because it’s full of secrets

 

Take me to Church: Wow Kevin! I didn’t know you could pack an entire salon in your bag

 

Sprinkles: Kevin I don’t think you can fit anything else in that bag

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I BELIEVE

 

Not Safe For Work: Most of it is Arnold’s Comic Books that he plan to read on the bus

 

ThePrice.IsRight: THAT I CAN

 

ThePrice.IsRight: wait what

 

ThePrice.IsRight: SO THAT’S WHY I COULDN’T FIT MY DYSON SUPERSONIC HAIRDRYER

 

ThePrice.IsRight: HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THEM IN THERE WITHOUT MY NOTICING

 

ThePrice.IsRight: JC I OPENED IT UP AND THERE’S HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEM BURIED UNDER MY ‘Espresso Yourself’ shirt!!!!!

 

JediMaster: It wasn’t easy

JediMaster: Have you ever tryed to fit the first 50 Amazing Spidreman Comics AND Man of Steal Comics into one “I <3 Mickey Mouse” Suitcase!!

 

JediMaster: I deserve a trophy, is all I’m saying

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU:

hey im off to the market u losers need anything

 

Not Safe For Work: A Texting Device!

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: YOU want A WHOLE phOne?!

 

ThePrice.IsRight: *Gasp* oh no zelder’s aloof aesthetic of no capital letter is R U I N E D

Take Me To Church: I thought you said your dad owned all of the Walmart’s in Virginia or something, Zelder

 

Sprinkles: And you can’t afford a whole phone?

 

JediMaster: Market? Like in colonial times?

 

Not Safe For Work: No no no not a cellular phone, a texting device!

 

Not Safe For Work: A machine that you push buttons that make your greatest desires and lets you share your feelings with all of your friends!

 

Not Safe For Work: And it makes a pretty Ding! when it’s done!

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: you want a microwave?

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Who’s greatest desire is food?

 

Sprinkles: Mine

 

Not Safe For Work: Oh it is fine Elder Zelder I can pick it up myself

 

McKindly: Ooh ooh I would love a new bath bomb

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU:

huh

 

Sprinkles: They put my cousin on a watch list for those.

 

McKindly: Why?

 

Sprinkles: He kept eating them

 

Take me to Church: love that cRONCH

 

JediMaster: Can you get me Pop Sockets?

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: is that like a video game

 

JediMaster: No it’s a spherical object, well I gues not a sphere since it’s not complely round, so it’s more of a flat sphere? And you could say it attaches to your phone like a sticker except you have to peel a sticker off to get to the actual pop socket. And it pops up like a jack in the box, except you pull it up yourself and you know it’s gonna happen. And it helps you hold your phone without actually holding your phone. I guess it’s more of a ring? Except you usually dont wear them but they go between your fingers like a ducks webbed feet

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU:

...

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU:

i’ll just get you an orange

McKindly: Can you just pick us up I’m sure we all have things we need to grab before the trip?

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: no my dude im almost done here

 

Sprinkles: Hey remember last time we all went shopping together and Kevin knocked over the entire display of bouncy balls in the toy section?

 

ThePriceIsRight: THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN STACKED LIKE THAT

 

JediMaster: CHILDREN WENT DOWN LIKE BOWLING PINS

 

Sprinkles: And then Jamie kept yelling ‘strike’ under his breath

 

Take Me To Church: and then Connor started doing it

 

McKindly: And then pretty soon we were all screeching strike and jumping up and down like inNewsies XD

 

Not Safe For Work: Do you remember why we were all in the Toy Section?

 

JediMaster: We lost Kevin and we checked in two out of three of his favorite places: The Beauty section, the Starbucks, and new he had to be looking at the Disney Princess dolls

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I WAS SHOPPING FOR MY NIECE’S 8TH BIRTHDAY DON’T GET IT TWISTED

 

McKindly: awwww

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU : if it looks like a duck, and it walks like a duck,,,,

 

ThePrice.IsRight: if you call me goddamn duck I swear

 

Sprinkles: QUACK

 

Take me to Church: LMAO

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU has sent an image

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: I always pick the line with the cutest cashier

 

Not Safe For Work: But you are in the self check out line...

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 


	10. Late for Wizomania

ThePrice.IsRight>> JediMaster + Na-Bon Jovi, 5:08 pm

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Hey we all still on for movie night at yalls apartment?

 

JediMaster: Yee

 

Na-Bon Jovi: ‘Yalls’

 

JediMaster: We agreed on The Force Awakens, right????

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I thought we said??? Moana???

 

JediMaster: No???

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Yes????!!??

 

ThePrice.IsRight has opened camera roll

 

ThePrice.IsRight: screenshot.jpg from 5pm, yesterday

 

JediMaster: Shoot.

 

Na-Bon Jovi: I tried to tell him it would not be that easy :3

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Hahahaha

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Whats wrong with Moana?

 

JediMaster: The storyline just seems repetitive i dunno tbh

 

ThePrice.IsRight: We could always pull up a be bway bootleg?

 

Na-Bon Jovi: That’s more of a u and Elder McKinley thing

 

JediMaster: ;)

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Shut upppppppp

 

ThePrice.IsRight: How about Aladdin? That movie almost never gets old

 

Na-Bon Jovi : Sounds fine

 

JediMaster: okiee doke

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Lol be there in 10

 

‘Good Mormon Groupchat,’ 5:11 pm

 

Take me to Church: I still don’t see why Spongebob’s House was round and yet it had corners on the

in si de???

 

Sprinkles: My man has fire underwater,

 

McKindly: A snail that meows,

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: and works in a lobster trap

 

Sprinkles: And you’re curious why his house has corners???

 

Take Me To Church: Yes.

 

Take Me To Church: Hey Connor when do we leave for New York again?

 

Sprinkles: that’s code for I still haven’t packed and I need to know so that I can start packing the day before

 

Sprinkles: Only to leave a toothbrush, underwear, and comb

 

JediMaster: ROASTED

 

Take Me To Church: Suddenly I cant read???

 

McKindly: Haha we leavenext Friday

 

McKindly: Honestly, Jamie, you should really pack sooner so that you can make sure you pack everything that you need!

 

Take Me to Church: Honestly, Connie, I have a a system.

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: obvi, that’s been working s o well lately

 

Take Me to Church: I Hate this Family

 

————*————

 

McKindly>> ThePrice Is Right, 5:30 pm

 

McKindly: What are you doing tonight?

 

ThePrice.IsRight: You?

 

McKindly: ...

 

ThePrice.IsRight: What?

 

ThePrice.IsRight: OH

 

ThePrice.IsRight: CRAP SVSHSHSJA

 

ThePrice.IsRight has taken a picture of the chat

 

ThePrice.IsRight: screenshot.jpg

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I MEANT TO SAY WATCHING ALADDIN W ARNOLD AND NABA

 

ThePrice.IsRight: BUT IT DIDN’T GO THROUGH

 

ThePrice.IsRight: AND THE SECOND TEXT WAS SUPPOSED I READ you? LIKE WHAT ABIOYT YOU OH MY GOG

 

McKindly: I CAN’T BREATHE LMAO

 

McKindly: KEV WTH HSHSHSHSJA

—————*—————

 

ThePrice.IsRight>> JediMaster, Na-Bon Jovi

 

ThePrice.IsRight: screenshot.jpg

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Our father who art in heaven, hallow be thy name, PLEASE RELEASD ME FROM THID EARTH

 

Na-Bon Jovi: OH MY GOG

 

Na-Bon Jovi: SGAUSHSBAJANSN

 

JediMaster: I couldn’t have said it better myself

 

JediMaster: and Holy guacamole Na-Bon Jovi just keyboard smashed!

 

ThePrice.IsRight: THAT’S NOT THE POINT

 

ThePrice.IsRight: THIS IS AMONG ONE OF THE WORST THINGS TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME

 

JediMaster: So you send a flirty little message to your crush. Now youve broke the ice!!!!

 

Na-Bon Jovi: That’s one way to do it

 

ThePrice.IsRight: ARNIE.

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I DO NOT.

 

ThePrice.IsRight: HAVE A.

 

ThePrice.IsRight: C R U S H

 

ThePrice.IsRight: ON CONNOR ELIAS MCKINLEY

 

JediMaster: Okay Kev

 

————*———-

 

‘Good Mormon Groupchat,’ 5:46 pm

 

JediMaster: He TOTALLY has a crush on Connor Elias McKinley!!!!

 

McKindly: ??

 

JediMaster: SHIT

 

JediMaster has cleared the chat

 

McKindly: Arnold, WHAT???

 

McKindly: WHO?

 

JediMaster: What are you talking about?

 

McKindly: you said someone had a crush on me?

 

JediMaster: How did you get this number

 

JediMaster has cleared the chat history

 

McKindly: ...?????!!!

 

JediMaster: It’s a different Connor?

 

McKindly: There’s another person in the world who has the exact same three names as me?

 

JediMaster has cleared the chat

 

JediMaster: You’d be surprised

 

JediMaster has cleared the chat

 

————-*————-

 

McKindly<< JediMaster, 5:48 pm

 

McKindly: Arnold.

 

JediMaster: Okay Okay

 

JediMaster: It’s this guy from school. Head over heels.

 

McKindly: What’s his name?

 

JediMaster: His Name??

 

JediMaster: it’s Whizzer

 

McKindly: Whizzer?

 

JediMaster: Hes a foreign exchange student!!!

 

JediMaster: From Wizomania

 

McKindly: isnt that the show Galinda and Elphie went to see in Wicked?

 

JediMaster: hahahaaa That was a joke

 

JediMaster: to see if you were paying attention

 

McKindly: Oh haha

 

McKindly: So what’s his real name?

 

JediMaster: ..Whizzer

 

McKindly: are you sure he goes to our school? I’ve never ever heard of a Whizzer

 

JediMaster: TOTES shy. Can’t stand to be around you or he runs away

 

McKindly: Awww poor guy.

 

McKindly: What does he look like?

 

JediMaster: um

 

JediMaster : He’s Short, loves to wear fuzzy sweaters, has black hair and always wears black, and has these big brown puppy eyes

 

McKindly: huh. I may have seen someone like that

 

McKindly: Well I’m very flattered but there’s only one guy I’m interested in rn.

 

McKindly: But he shouldn’t be afraid to talk to me! I try to be very approachable and friendly

 

JediMaster: It’s not you, don’t worry.

 

JediMaster: I’ll try to send him your way okay? Maybe you guys can be friends??

 

————-*————-

 

The Connor (and Kevin) Project, 5:51 pm

 

JediMaster: glad THATS cleared up

 

Sprinkles: Smooth

 

Na-Bon Jovi: What did you say to Elder McKinley?????

 

JediMaster: I uh

 

JediMaster: said that there was his foreign exchange student from School named Whizzer who had a huge crush on him??

 

JediMaster: no biggie

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: Whizzer??

 

JediMaster: I PANICKED I JUST WROTE WHIZZER I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

 

JediMaster: that’s the name of my mini pin and he happened to be on my lap when I was thinking of something to lie about

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: LMAO did you really just give your dog as a physical description too?

 

Take Me to Church: WIZOMANIA IM CACKLINH

 

JediMaster: I WAS ALSO NOT VERY GOOD AT GEOGRAPHY AND ONE SHORT DAY HAPPENED TO BE PLAYING ON SPOTIFY EARLIER

 

JediMaster: you should be proud of what I came up w on such short notice!!!! I got mad schwillz

 

Sprinkles has changed JediMaster’s username to ‘Sir_Lies_A_Lot’

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: ANYWAY

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: CONFIRMED.jpg

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Kevin!!! Flirted with Connor

 

Sprinkles: This is good

 

Sprinkles: but what if it really was just a typo?

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: I have more

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot:Kevin?.jpg

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Connor said that there was only one guy he liked atm

 

Na-Bon Jovi: Only one guy Automated Teller Machine? Like at the bank?

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: my aesthetic is naba not knowing that atm means at the moment but know what atm literally stands for in the real sense

 

Na-Bon Jovi::’(

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU:

But Ily for it!!!!! <3

 

Na-Bon Jovi: I ileey you too Elder Zelder <3

 

Take me to Church: I’m not sure if this is appropriate for the situation or not but someone’s gotta say it

 

rOASTED!!!!!


	11. Kicklining...frenemies?

ThePrice.Is Right<< Sir_Lies_A_Lot 6:31 pm

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Sir_Lies_A_Lot, ha that’s funny

 

ThePrice.IsRight: you left your phone in the bathroom

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Wait

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Lmao you wont be able to see this

 

ThePrice.IsRight: How

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Does

 

ThePrice.IsRight: A

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Bastard

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Orphan

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Nah that song’s overdone

 

ThePrice.IsRight: dearly beloved

 

ThePrice.IsRight: we gather here to say our

 

ThePrice.IsRight G o o d b y e s

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Here she liiiiiiiesss

 

ThePrice.IsRight: No one knew herrrr worthhhhhhh

 

ThePrice.IsRight: The late great daughter of....

 

The.Price.IsRight: Mother Earth

 

ThePrice.IsRight: On this night, when we celebrate the birth

 

ThePrice.IsRight: in that little town of

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Bethlehemmmm

 

ThePrice.IsRight: we raise our glass

 

ThePrice.IsRight: you bET YOur ASS

 

ThePrice.IsRight: tooooooooooooo

 

ThePrice.IsRight: La vieeeeeeeee

Bohemeeeee

 

ThePrice.IsRight: lmao 30 UNREAD MESSAGEZ

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Well, 31

 

ThePrice.IsRight: (32) But At least they’re not all from me!

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Something called “The Connor (and...)” is texting you

 

ThePriceIsRight: Your passcode for your phone isstill the same, right?

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Oh yeah. You’re not here to tell me either way ha

 

ThePrice.IsRight: yup, still 1234 *sigh*

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Hey actually that’s kinda smart 1234 is so obvious that everyone would guess it, which makes people not put it as their passwords, so no one would actually put that as their code in lieu of something clever!

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Oof that did not come out right, sorry buddy

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Wait....the Connor and KEVIN project??!111!!!!!

 

ThePrice.IsRight: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

 

ThePrice.IsRight: oh.

 

ThePriceIsRight: You are so dead.

 

ThePrice.IsRight has cleared today’s chat history

 

Good Mormon Groupchat, 6:56 pm

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: 30 minutes later, Kevin emerges from the bathroom!!!!

 

Knickerbocker Glory: Along with Arnold’s phone!

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: Actually it’s only been 25 minutes

 

Sprinkles: ZELDER DID WE ASK

 

Sir_Lies_Lot: Kev we missed you!

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Because of your phone?

 

Sprinkles: pssst pssttttttt

 

Sprinkles: babe it’s your line

 

Take Me to Church: oh shit right roOOAAAASSStedD

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: well, yeah

 

Take me to Church: IT GETS BETTER

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: But we’re almost at Friend Like Me!!! I wanted to wait for you since it’s our new tradition to sing it together

 

Knickerbocker Glory: *screech and wake up the neighbors

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: you’ve been, how you say,

Ro-AS-teD !!6666!!???

 

Take Me to Church: blease, just stop.

 

Sprinkles: Were blegging you

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: We can all agree that Aladdin is the best Disney movie, right?

 

MyNameRhymesImCoolerThanU: aCTually, its the Lion King

 

Sprinkles: Kevin did you take Arnold’s phone again???

 

Knickerbocker Glory: Surprisingly, no. He’s sitting on the edge of he couch just staring off into space

 

McKindly: During a Disney movie? That’s not like him

 

McKindly: Is he okay?

 

Knickerbocker Glory: I asked him and he gave me his best missionary smile and told me he was fine. I don’t believe him

 

Take Me to Church: I’m coming out of my cage and I’m doing just fine , I lied I’m dying inside

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: y’all tryna steal my brand smh

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: YAY ITS ON NOW LETS HIT IT KEV

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: ...Knickerbocker Glory why isn’t Kevin singing :(((((

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Well, Mister Kevin Sir, hAVE A WISH OR TWOO OR THREEE you ain’t N EV E R Had a FRIENd like MEEEEEEEE....Kev where are you going??????????

 

Knickerbocker Glory: :( this is the part where they’d usually start doing a Kick-line

 

Take me to Church: PLEASE TELL ME THERE’s A VIDEO OF THIS OCCASION

 

McKindly: not HELPING JAMES

Kevin’s really upset!

 

Knickerbocker Glory has sent a video

 

Take me to Church: my skin is clear, my crops are thriving, MY SOUL IS BLESSED


	12. Our Love Is God

Sir_Lies_A_Lot<<ThePrice.IsRight, 7:14 pm

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Kevin?

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Kevin??

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Kevin open the door please

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Kevin? Can we not fight anymore

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Do you want to build a snowman?

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: We used to be best buddies. And now we’re not. I wish you would tell me why.

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Go away, Arnold

 

Sir_Lies_A_Lot: Okay, bye

 

McKindly<<ThePrice.IsRight, 7:16 pm

 

McKindly: Kevin, honey?

 

McKindly: Are you okay

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Did Arnold send you?

 

McKindly: No

 

McKindly: I’ve just never seen you not enjoy a Disney movie and I got worried haha

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Not everything in my life revolves around Disney, Connor.

 

McKindly: Right.

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Truth be told, your the last person I should be talking to right now.

 

McKindly: But you’re talking to me anyway

 

McKindly: So I guess I must be doing something right :)

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Well then I guess you are

 

ThePrice.IsRight: did you know that all of our friends ship us together?

 

McKindly: What?????????

 

ThePrice.IsRight: God this is so embarrassing

 

ThePrice.IsRight: there’s a whole separate group chat dedicated to getting us together

 

McKindly: oh,,goodness

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I just found out today and I figured you deserved to know too.

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I had no part in any of this I swear

 

McKindly: oh.

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I really hope this doesn’t make things weird between us :(

 

McKindly: oh no no no no no!

 

McKindly: You’ll always be the closest person to me

 

McKindly: Oh god that sounded so weird I’m sorry

 

ThePrice.IsRight: No, it was sweet :)

 

ThePrice.IsRight: So, were good?

 

McKindly: yuppity yup

 

McKindly<<ThePrice.IsRight 11:30 pm

 

McKindly: aaaaaannndddddd iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

 

McKindly: WULL ALWYSDD LOOVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE

 

McKindly: YOUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIII

 

ThePrice.IsRight: ..connor?

 

McKindly: Christopher William Thomas will be the DEATH of me one day so help him god

 

ThePrice.IsRight: lmao was that him a second ago

 

McKindly: yes, and

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I see we’re putting our improv skills to good use

 

McKindly: he’s drunk. He and James are over here giggling like little schoolgirls. They must’ve stolen my phone while I was making THEM snacks

 

Sprinkles<<ThePrice.IsRight: 11:35 pm

 

Sprinkles: DONT BELIGE ABHTGJNG HE SAYS

 

McKindly<<ThePrice.IsRight, 11:35pm

 

McKindly: I’m sick and tired of this

 

McKindly: If they want a show there getting one

 

ThePrice.IsRight: What are you saying?

 

McKindly: We should date

 

ThePrice.IsRight: ...

 

McKindly: ..only to play a trick on the other guys!!!

 

McKindly: You’re still mad at Arnold for invading your privacy, right? 

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Sure

 

McKindly: making the GC was completely out of line. Teasing here and there was embarrassing, but it was kinda funny and we were okay with it.

 

McKindly: But this means WAR!!!! >:C

 

ThePrice.IsRight: You’re so adorable I can’t

 

McKindly: I wasn’t going for adorable lol that was my aNGRY typing VOice

 

ThePrice.IsRight: You’re just like a little ray of sunshine all the time and when you get all angry, it’s cute

 

McKindly: You’re saying I don’t scare you?

 

McKindly: For your information I can be very intimidating

 

McKindly: I stubbed my toe last week and I only cried for 20 minutes

 

ThePrice.IsRight: LMAO I loved that Spongebob episode ^

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Connor your entire aesthetic is the rainbow plushie Weenie Hut Junior’s.

 

McKindly: Kevin I think I saw you in SUPER Weenie Hut Jr’s last week.

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Oof I didn’t know Connor McKinley could burn people

 

McKindly: I got mad Scwillz, Kevin

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Grool. (Great and Cool)

 

McKindly: I’ve seen Mean Girls at LEAST 8 times, Kevin

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Oof, Connor “Wild Man” McKinley is back again!!!!!!

 

ThePrice.IsRight: I think we’d make a great fake couple

 

McKindly: So you’re in???!

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Of Course

 

McKindly: I look forward to fake dating you

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Were gonna go on the best fake dates

 

McKindly: And have the best fake wedding

 

ThePrice.IsRight: And the cutest fake children

 

McKindly: Lol, gn Kevin

 

ThePrice.IsRight: Sweet Dreams

 

McKindly<<Sprinkles, 11:48 pm

 

McKindly: POPTARTS I SWEAR ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH IF YOU DON’T GET TO SLEEP I WILL PERSONALLY DROP YOUR PHONE OFF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading. Please tell me if you liked it!!


End file.
